OCTOBER 13, 1995 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE 13

OPEN ROADS

Do you tell them you're HIV+, and risk dying from their fear?

by Thom Sommers

done by my "border lunch," I was staring at the bag of 0.9% saline solution dripping slowly into the small clear chamber, into the tubing, and finally into my infected veins.

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Imagine, if you can, eating a burrito in your car, alone in the parking lot of Taco Bell. As you are eating you begin to choke. Within minutes you are coughing, vomiting, and expelling bodily fluids in the back of an ambulance on your way to the emergency room. "Are you allergic to any medications? Are you currently taking any medications? Do you have any medical history, problems, or conditions? Do you have a doctor?"

How do you answer? You could possibly be choking to death. Do you tell them that you are HIV positive and that you are taking AZT and risk your life?

In a split second of sheer panic I nodded with a "no"

I listened to a patient in the next bed conversing with the nurse. He was explaining to her that she has no need to worry about wearing her gloves, because, “I ain't no faggot and I ain't got AIDS." She politely responded, "That's nice to know but I need to [wear gloves]."

Later in their conversation the nurse explained to her patient that she needed to give him a shot. "You have a choice," she explained, "in your arm or in your butt." The patient was quick to respond by reminding her that "I told you I ain't no faggot... ain't nothing going in my ass." They both chuckled.

OPEN ROADS

to each question. Upon arrival to the hospital they began sticking me to start IVs and administer medication. There was blood on the floor, on the linens, on me. Beginning to fear the infection of those saving my life, I remained silent about my status.

Feeling irresponsible, I lay trying to jusify my own actions. I could not. After the Jurrito had been removed and I was awaiting ests to determine the extent of the damage

.

I was both shocked and perplexed. Shocked that this man was still so ignorant to the disease and perplexed by the nurses' reaction to him. SHe had the perfect opportunity to eductae this one man about HIV/AIDS transmission. It is not just "faggots" that are at risk for this disease. Although the nurse had the perfect opportunity to educate this one man,

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I knew that I also had the opportunity to educate this one nurse. I was perplexed with myself.

It became clear to me after my trip to Akron City Hospital that I am still afraid. I am afraid of the virus that has taken up residency in my body, the virus that continues to force me to hide. The continued ignorance of the general population, and the insensitivity of the medical establishment was also very apparent to me.

Although I feel I had a responsibility to share my status, I was literally fearing for my life. Since my unexpected journey through the streets of Akron strapped to a stretcher, I

have written a letter to the director of nursing so I can express my fears and share my experience with her staff nurse. Unfortunately, the experience reminded me how much bigotry, hatred and ignorance still surround this viņus.

If I had to re-experience the episode, I hope I would have the courage to admit my status, understanding I am potentially putting an entire staff at risk.

Please send all comments, concerns, questions, and experiences to: Thom Sommers, c/ o Gay People's Chronicle, P.O. Box 5426, Cleveland, Ohio 44101.

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